Nine months ago, I started writing what I anticipated would
be an 18-part blog series on the basics of Vegas, alternating between general
knowledge and gambling basics. After writing the first eight parts, I put it
aside, and at this point, it looks like I’m going to be abandoning it. So, for
what it’s worth, after a tiny bit of cleanup, here’s my abandoned draft.
1: Basic Vegas
geography: The Strip and Fremont Street (“downtown” or “old Vegas”)
The
Strip – Las Vegas Boulevard – is a four-mile long stretch of desert roadway
fronted by 26 casinos with essentially four competing owners. The big two, Caesars Entertainment (mostly center
strip, with 7 properties) and MGM
Resorts (mainly south strip, with 10 properties), are frequently under fire
for their tendency to nickel and dime you with fees being added and services
being reduced several times a year. The next two, LV Sands
(Venetian/Palazzo) and Wynn/Encore,
tend to follow Caesars and MGM’s lead. A few more scattered independent
properties exist (Stratosphere, SLS, Casino Royale, Cosmopolitan, Tropicana).
The Great Recession hit Vegas hard, and several projects on the north end of
the strip were delayed or cancelled (e.g., Fontainebleu), but some have started
to show some activity (Resorts World, Alon).
A
couple of miles north of The Strip, Fremont Street has seen a resurgence in the
last decade, in no small part due to the arrival of Zappos.com’s headquarters
and its CEO’s quirky philosophy about employees benefiting from community. The
Fremont Street Experience light show at the west end of Fremont covers most of
the tourist area, but East Fremont has really become less slummy and more
hipster (or gentrified) since Zappos’ arrival. There are 11 casinos on or near
west Fremont (13 if you count two tiny slot machine halls), and El Cortez on
east Fremont.
The
Strip is where you find the glitz, the luxury, the best restaurants, the
fanciest bars, the most beautiful people, and the highest prices. Fremont
Street is where you find the best gambling, the best deals, and the lowest
table limits. Many years ago, someone told me that if you want to feel bad
about how you look, hang out on the strip. If you want to feel good about how
you look, hang out on Fremont.
A final
category of casinos are considered off-strip: Palms, Rio, and the Hard Rock
fall into this category. The Westgate (formerly the Las Vegas Hilton) could
also be considered off-strip, but many categorize it as a north strip property.
Unless you’re big into sports, you probably won’t go to any of these on your
first Vegas trip.
2: Basics of gambling:
Money Management I
No
matter what you decide to gamble on or how good or bad the odds are, good money
management will positively affect your gambling more than any other thing you
do. I’ve heard that there’s few things worse than losing your entire bankroll
on day one of a five-day trip (although compounding that by borrowing more
money is still worse). Proper money management will allow you to have fun every
day of your trip.
The
most important rule of money management: never bet more than you’re willing to
lose. I’d expand that further by saying that you shouldn’t bring more cash into
the casino than you’re willing to lose. A bad session at the craps table can
wipe you out quickly. A good session can turn bad as well. You should never put
yourself in a situation where you look back and say, “if I hadn’t gone to the
ATM, I’d be able to pay rent this month.” In the heat of the moment, you might
be thinking, “I can withdraw a little more and get back to even.” That way lies
madness and worse.
3: Safety: Crimes and
scams:
Vegas
draws everyone, from high rollers with a big craving for action and very little
sense, to convention attendees who disdainfully look upon the shenanigans, to
college frat boys who are here to party until they pass out, to Mabel and Henry
from Backwater Flats who arrive with big eyes and golly-gee attitude, to
addicts with little self-control looking for their next hit. Vegas also draws
the criminal element who preys on all of them.
The
tourist areas of Vegas are exceedingly safe. The downtown streets back home are
almost certainly more dangerous. Police are everywhere, and casinos have their
own security staff (who work closely with police) to keep bad times to a
minimum. After all, Vegas is dependent on bringing tourists in, and tourists
quickly avoid areas where they don’t feel safe.
So,
first, stay in the tourist areas. You could probably walk from The Strip to
Fremont Street, but why risk it? You’re gambling enough in the casinos.
Minimize your losses outside.
Secondly,
realize that anybody you don’t know who talks to you is, most of the time,
looking to get something from you. Costumed characters will demand tips if you
take their photo. The guy handing you a “free” CD will demand payment. The guy
offering free nightclub passes will also expect a tip, and the passes will
probably get you in the same line to pay for admission as everyone else (if
you’re a dude) or in the same expedited line you’d be put in without a pass (if
you’re a hot female). You can get bottled water less expensively and probably
less contaminated-ly from the drugstore on every corner than you can from the
dirty cooler on the overpass.
Third, watch
your stuff. Pickpockets work the crowds inside the casinos, on crowded
sidewalks, and around the three-card-monte hucksters. If you set your purse
down and look away, it could disappear. It happens.
Fourth,
what happens in Vegas ends up on Facebook. What ends up on the internet lasts
forever. Keep that in mind, Princess Selfie.
And
finally, keep your wits. The people who wants to scam you in Vegas are some of
the best in the world. Don’t give them an opening. Don’t engage in risky
behavior. Don’t let the booze and the lights and the spectacle take control of
you.
(Bonus
tip: take Uber or Lyft, not a cab. Cabs are more expensive, and when going to
or from the airport, they’re notorious for taking the longer route to increase
their fares.)
4: Basics of
gambling: House Edge
At the simplest level, the house
edge is the price you pay to play a casino game. Imagine, if you will, a $1 bet
on a coin tossing game using a perfectly fair coin. Heads you win $1, tails you
lose $1. You have two possible results: you leave with $2 or you leave with $0.
On average, you leave with $1. The difference between what you bet ($1) and
your average expectation ($1) is the house edge: 0%. That means there’s no
house edge. There’s no way a casino would actually offer this kind of game,
because they have to pay for their employees, the free booze, and other
overhead expenses.
So, say they offer a similar coin
tossing game, but heads you win $0.95, tails you lose $1. You have two possible
results: you leave with $1.95 or you leave with $0. On average, you leave with
$0.975. The difference between what you bet ($1) and your expectation ($0.975)
is the house edge: 2.5%. In other words, for every dollar you bet on this game,
you can expect to lose 2.5¢.
Let’s look at a real casino game,
roulette. There’s 38 spaces, you bet $1 on one space (go, lucky number 16!),
and if it wins, you get $35 back (plus your original $1 bet). What’s the house
edge? 37 times, you end up with $0. The 38th time, you end up with $36. On
average ($36/38 spins), you end up with $0.947. If you bet $1 on one number,
each spin costs you 5.26¢. There’s a 5.26% house edge to this roulette game.
Essentially, if you know the house
edge to a bet (http://wizardofodds.com/gambling/house-edge/), and you play with
proper strategy, you know how much it’s going to cost you in the long run.
Interested in three card poker? The ante and play bets (two bets, $5 each) have
a 3.37% house edge, and the Pair Plus bet (at $1) has a 7.28% house edge. Each
hand will, in the long run, cost $0.337+$0.073, or 41¢ per hand. Interested in
just playing the pass line in craps? A $5 bet has a 1.41% house edge, so each
shooter will cost you 7¢.
So why play any of these games if
it’s going to cost you in the long run? The same reason you buy movie tickets
or a video game (a 100% house edge): you’re getting entertainment in exchange
for your money. It’s fun. And, in Vegas, you’re also getting a little value
from the free drinks being offered (but don’t forget to tip!).
There are three games and one other
possibility where there can be a beneficial house edge (“player advantage,” or
“+EV” as the cool kids say). Some video poker machines, when played with
perfect strategy have a very minor +EV. If you play blackjack, and if keep a
good count of what cards are left in the shoe, and if you bet big when it’s a
+EV game, you can have an advantage (and then get backed off by casino
management, and if you’re reading this, I guarantee you didn’t really count it
right anyway). And if you’re a really good poker player, or at least a better
poker player than 60% of the players at your table, poker can be a +EV game.
Also, “free play” or “match play” coupons can make a single bet a +EV
proposition.
House edge isn’t everything,
though. Imagine a situation where you can bet $5 to have a 1-in-a-million
chance to win a billion dollars. That’s got a 200% edge in your favor. You
should bet every penny you have to win this bet, right? No. The variance
will kill you, unless you’ve got millions of dollars to churn through until you
hit the jackpot. Many games with a small
house edge have a large variance (like video poker).
5: Food
There
are a lot of folks who come to Vegas to whom food is an afterthought – there’s
a reason that the highest grossing Denny’s in the world is on The Strip – and
I’ll admit that I’ve eaten a few meals from the Showcase Mall Wendy’s and the
Fashion Show Mall food court. I propose, however, that food shouldn’t be an
afterthought. Many of the best chefs in the world have signature restaurants on
The Strip, as do many more well-known chefs. Sure, Jöel Robuchon and José Andrés’ Bazaar
Meat are on many best-in-the-nation lists, but you’ve also got Gordon Ramsey Steak, deLaurentiis’ Giada, Todd English’s Olives, and more.
On the
more casual side, Andrés’ China Poblano
is one of my favorite meal stops at Cosmopolitan. Natalie Young’s eat. in east Fremont is one of the best
breakfasts in town, and her Chow
serves up a tasty blend of Chinese and American comfort foods. Top Chef Susan Feniger and Mary Sue
Milliken’s Border Grill has two
delicious locations.
And
getting super casual, Secret Pizza at
Cosmopolitan serves up a great slice, if you can find it. Pizza Rock downtown does the same, and also has the best meatball
I’ve ever vanquished. Also downtown, DuPars
at the Golden Gate is somewhat overrated for breakfast, but that just means
it’s really good, not super amazing.
Buffets
are a Vegas staple, but I tend to avoid them. Wicked Spoon at Cosmopolitan is very good, and I’ve heard great
things about Bacchanal at Caesars,
but I always end up trying to eat my money’s worth, and they’re pretty pricey,
meaning I eat one meal there, and I’m full for the next 24 hours. I’ve also
eaten at Spice Market (Planet
Hollywood), Bayside (Mandalay Bay), MGM Grand Buffet, and The Buffet at Bellagio, and while I
don’t regret it, there are better choices if you plan ahead. Worth a
consideration: the Chuck Buffet -- if you’re going to spend $X on a breakfast
buffet, why not spend a third of $X on three different dining experiences:
coffee here, a pastry there, scrambled eggs somewhere else? (Tip of the hat to
the Trippies 2016 editors for this suggestion.)
Please,
don’t eat at a major chain restaurant while in Vegas. I know there’s an
In-n-Out over there, and there’s none of those at home, but you’re missing out
on better choices. Also, don’t eat anywhere at Flamingo. Trust me on this one.
6: Basics of
gambling: Money Management II, the envelope system
This
doesn’t work for everyone, but it sure does for me. The basic envelope system
works like this: before you leave home, allocate a portion of your bankroll for
each day and place it in a sealed envelope labeled with the date it’s to be
used. When you’re in Vegas, that’s the only money you have to gamble with that
day, and when it’s gone, no gambling until the next day. If you have money left
at the end of the day, it goes into a “bank” envelope that gets brought home.
Never take money from the bank envelope.
I’ve
modified this system a little bit. Depending on what I have planned for each
day, an envelope will have varying amounts. Lots of meetups? Maybe a little
less. Nothing planned? Maybe more. Arriving late that night? Maybe only a
little bit. Also, money left at the end of the day doesn’t all go into the
“bank” envelope – just half of it does. The other half gets placed in the next
day’s envelope. That way, if I have a
big win, I can play a little more or a little bigger the next day while still
banking a notable sum.
Others,
more optimistic than I, have said they allocate $0 to the final day, but take
half of each day’s leftovers and place it in the final day envelope. It seems
to me that you’re risking having no funds for the final day, but it works for
them, so that’s an option.
Obviously,
self-control is needed for this system. But if you don’t have self-control,
should you really be gambling in Vegas?
7: Comps
“Comps”
are stuff the casino gives you in return for your gambling. At my low-rolling levels, the only comps I
ever see from Vegas casinos are a handful of points on my players card and
discounted room offers (rarely, but sometimes at the low end joints, discounted
to “free”). A typical player’s card, the
Caesars “Total Rewards” card, gives you one “reward credit” for every $5 you
play on a slot machine. You can exchange 200 reward credits for $1. Thus, each
reward credit is worth ½¢, so you’re getting 0.1% cash back.
Never
play for comps. They’re a nice side benefit, and new players especially can get
some nice “bounce back” offers the first few times, but playing a game with a
-EV more than you normally would, just to get 0.1% of your bet back, is dumb.
At some
places, playing a table game (blackjack, roulette, craps, but not poker) for a
few hours might entitle you to a
comped meal. Ask the pit boss. I’ve never played long enough in one place to
ask. At the poker table, the best offer you’re going to find is $2 in food
credit for every hour played.
8: Basics of
gambling: Table games
It’s
very, very rare to find a table game under $5. The most common table games are
blackjack, roulette, craps, Ultimate Texas Hold ‘em, Three Card Poker, and Pai
Gow Poker.
Cameras
are everywhere in Vegas, and many of them are pointed at the table games. It’s
where a lot of money changes hands, and where the opportunity for fraud is
high. The casino is watching both you and the dealer. When you buy in to a
table game, you can’t hand your money to the dealer. Leave it on the table
instead. This prevents accusations of sleight-of-hand – passing something (like
a chip or a high value bill) between the player and dealer out of view of the
camera.
Blackjack
is everywhere in Las Vegas. Unfortunately, in the last decade, payoffs for a
blackjack in most casinos have dropped from 3:2 ($15 on a $10 bet) to 6:5 ($12
on a $10 bet). Basic strategy cards are
available for free on the internet, and you’re allowed to print out and have a
strategy card at the table with you. Playing basic strategy keeps the house edge in
blackjack well under 2%.
[and
that’s where I ended]
9: Etiquette: moseying, tipping, cameras, selfies,
10: Basics of gambling: Slot machines
11: Getting around
12: Basic of gambling: The long run
13: Shows
14: Basics of gambling: Superstition and betting systems
15: Nightclubs
16: Basics of gambling: Taxes
17: What to do besides gambling, eating, and shows
18: History
No comments:
Post a Comment