Friday, December 30, 2005

GPS: The Movie

GPS The Movie is coming out in 2006. Direct to video? Maybe.

The concensus on the geocaching forums: "At the very least, this movie will do for Geocaching what Space Balls did for NASA.".

In some additional strangeness, it's filmed in Seattle and Gig Harbor, and of the nine characters listed on the web site, I only recognize one name as matching a prolific cacher in the area (except for Bob, who's a weiner dog).

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

WA House of Representatives commends underage poker player

HOUSE RESOLUTION NO.2005-4611, by Representative Buck

WHEREAS, Matthew Johnson was born at Holloman Air Force Base, Alamogordo, New Mexico, in 1988; and
WHEREAS, Matthew Johnson grew up in Alamogordo, Crete, Greece, and Brinnon, Washington, where he attended the Brinnon School District for elementary school and junior high, and currently attends Quilcene High School where he is a sophomore; and
WHEREAS, Matthew Johnson is carrying a 3.95 GPA and has a career goal of becoming an Air Force fighter pilot; and
[lots more whereas clauses showing Matthew's a neat guy]
WHEREAS, Matthew Johnson, ... in his free time ... is a typical teenager who enjoys watching DVDs, playing video and computer games, and learning poker, especially Texas Hold'em;
NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, That the House of Representatives of the state of Washington honor and congratulate Matthew Johnson for his character, dedication, hard work, maturity, and leadership in achieving these many outstanding and significant accomplishments...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Bad day, good day, bad hour, good hour

I've been playing pretty crappy lately on's 2¢/4¢ tables. My original $2 freeroll win grew to about $11.50, but that's been dwindled down to $7, and back up to $11, then down to $8, then up to $10, and its now back down to $9. The players there are (duh) crazy-loose, so no matter what I've got, I'll have multiple callers or raisers. If I could play tight enough, that'd be primo, but the looseness is contagious, and I'll do stupid things like I did last week.

I've bought in for $1, and I'm now down to 75¢ after about 30 hands. Haven't won a thing yet, just blinds and folded pots. I get dealt KK on the big blind. I raise pre-flop, and after a few rounds, it's being capped at 8¢ by five of us.

The flop comes A69 rainbow. Small blind bets 2¢. What should I do here with three others left to play? The smart move is to fold. With four other players in, one of them has to have an ace, giving him top pair. But no, I'm so wedded to my kings -- my first good hand in what seems like forever -- that I raise to 4¢.

Even if I'd checked, I'd be able to get better information about the next three players. But no, the guy to my left folds, late position raises to 6¢, button calls, small blind calls, and I fold.

No. That'd be the right thing to do. Instead, I re-raise to 8¢. The other players all call.

The turn is a J. We all cap another 16¢ round. The river's a 4. Small blind folds in the middle of another 16¢ round. My kings lose to late position's A5o (pair of aces). What was I doing in there?

Going on tilt, I waste away my remaining buy-in over the next couple of hands going for straight draws.

So Friday night, I was feeling pretty low about my poker skills, which causes me to play tight, which usually helps my game. It's when I'm feeling good and cocky that I lose. Several folks stopped by and played, including TMIB who made his first poker night appearance (he played OK, but got crap cards the whole night, so he was out his borrowed $5 at the end).

Twice on Friday I beat my opponent with top pair and a very slightly minor kicker, like KQ vs. KJ, or AT vs. A9. I was up from the get-go, and ended the night $26 ahead.

Monday night I was feeling like I could do it again, and had the (very loose) Davis brothers over to play, along with hard-to-read Phil "Fualaau" and mix-it-up Trestin. I bought in for $10, and again, I made bad plays against the loose players and had to rebuy an hour later.

I tightened up my play, loosened up my tie, and slowly began to re-build my stack. The big money hand was against Phil, when we were both in for about an $8 pot with something like 85J-8-3 on the board, no flush possible. I was holding JQ for jacks and eights, and Phils betting told me he didn't have the eights (too agressive after the flop to bet on middle pair like that). He either had a Jx, or pocket fives. After agonizing for about three minutes, I called his final $3, and he showed his JT. Nice.

Strangest hand of the night 1: I get dealt KK, and Jon, to my left, gets dealt cards, even though he had no money left. A misdeal is called, and I save my kings by quickly tossing Jon a buck to keep my cards alive. Nobody objects, but they know I've got power cards. At the end of the hand, my kings stand up, and I've won $1.25 (including 50¢ of the $1 I gave Jon).

Strangest hand of the night 2: Three handed, Tres accidentally shows his 4s pre-betting. He realizes it, though, so he knows I know one of his cards.

I've got QT, bet 75¢ (my universal "I've got a hand" bet), and he calls. This tells me he's either got A4, K4, or 44. There's really nothing else he could have. The flop comes rag rag Queen. I bet $1, and he calls (!?). The turn is another rag, he calls another bet of mine, the river's another rag (no straight or flush possible, if I remember right), and I bet $2. With my pair of queens, his 4x can't win. To my surprise, he thinks I'm bluffing and calls.

Gift cert sells at 107% of face value

$50 gift certificate, on sale for $53.59. WTF?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Pokerdome: RFIDed cards, rabbit chasing, and 15 second limits

Wil Wheaton's post at is farked, so I'm re-posting it from the RSS feed in its entirety:
At least once a week, someone tells me that poker has put on its water skis and leather jacket, and jumped the shark. And at least once a week, I point out that even the re-runs of the WSOP are still pulling down great numbers, book stores are overflowing with new (and surprisingly good) poker books, and online poker sites are packed with tens of thousands of players.

Today, FOX (who else?) is making it very difficult to argue with this week's proclaimation of poker's Fonzie-esque leap, with the announcement of "PokerDome."

It's part of the new series that Joanne blogged about on Monday, sponsored by the soon-to-be-broke After participants play in a series of tournaments, six of them will end up in a $60 million dollar winner-take-all SNG, which will be played in a specially-constructed set, inspired by Tina Turner's Thunderdome: "The dome is a wonder in and of itself, featuring one-way, mirrored glass with microphones located everywhere, so fans sitting around the dome can see and hear all of the action."

Wait. It gets worse: "The series . . . has another special trick up its sleeve that should add to the drama. The phrase 'speed poker' is an understatement as players have 15 seconds to decide how to play hands that could ultimately lead to the biggest defeat or biggest win of their lives." Obviously, that's something to be proud of. Let's take the best players in the world (presumably) and eliminate the decision-making ability that separates them from some jackass playing a Party Poker Turbo SNG.

They are going to put RFID chips into the cards, so we can know what the mysterious burn card is, (How have we played poker all these years without knowing that all-important bit of information? God bless you, FOX Executives!) And just because FOX isn't fucking with poker enough, they'll also add rabbit hunting on every fucking hand.

A FOX Sports executive says, "From a network perspective, this will be the largest poker deal ever brokered in television history. This will feel every bit as big as our Fox NFL telecasts."
Perfect. Get ready to don your foam dome and wear nothing but a diaper and some paint, because you may pay for the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!

It's Pokerdome, brought to you by your friends at FOX, who never saw a great thing they couldn't try real hard to fuck up.

(Hat tip to the blogfather.)

Now that's good smack

Scene: An blog entry about the Maxell "blown away" guy ad making a comeback.

Situation: Commenters are debating about whether the guy in the chair is 80's and 90's goth rocker Peter Murphy.

Commenter Dissent asks, "Uhhh... hey, old people, mind explaining to the non-geriatric generation what the hell youre all talking about? And whats a 'peter murphy'?!"

D3 replies, "I didn't know you could read Engadget on your LeapPad, Dissent."

Instant classic.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Don't Play Poker Online While People Are Shooting At Your DSL

Don't you hate it when you get pocket aces, and before the site registers your all-in click, you get your DSL shot out? Yeah, me too.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Lucius Malfoy on Forbes' list of 15 richest

Forbes has published their annual list of the 15 richest fictional characters. At the bottom of the list, at number 15:

#15 Malfoy, Lucius
Net Worth: $900 million
Source: Inheritance
Age: 51
Marital Status: Married, one child.
Hometown: Wiltshire, England
Education: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Forbes also writes:

[T]he value of Malfoy's personal possessions has appreciated significantly. Since the return of Lord Voldemort, artifacts and tools of the Dark Arts have become hugely popular, trading briskly in secondary markets like eBay and Borgin and Burke's. As the patriarch of an ancient family, Malfoy is reputed to hold a wealth of valuable objects. Despite repeated searches of Malfoy Manor, his home in Wiltshire, the Ministry of Magic has been unable to find any prohibited items--but sources close to the family say they still possess countless treasures.
The full list of all 15 is in their special report.