Pokerdome: RFIDed cards, rabbit chasing, and 15 second limits

Wil Wheaton's post at cardsquad.com is farked, so I'm re-posting it from the RSS feed in its entirety:

At least once a week, someone tells me that poker has put on its water skis and leather jacket, and jumped the shark. And at least once a week, I point out that even the re-runs of the WSOP are still pulling down great numbers, book stores are overflowing with new (and surprisingly good) poker books, and online poker sites are packed with tens of thousands of players.

Today, FOX (who else?) is making it very difficult to argue with this week's proclaimation of poker's Fonzie-esque leap, with the announcement of "PokerDome."

It's part of the new series that Joanne blogged about on Monday, sponsored by the soon-to-be-broke MansionPoker.com. After participants play in a series of tournaments, six of them will end up in a $60 million dollar winner-take-all SNG, which will be played in a specially-constructed set, inspired by Tina Turner's Thunderdome: "The dome is a wonder in and of itself, featuring one-way, mirrored glass with microphones located everywhere, so fans sitting around the dome can see and hear all of the action."

Wait. It gets worse: "The series . . . has another special trick up its sleeve that should add to the drama. The phrase 'speed poker' is an understatement as players have 15 seconds to decide how to play hands that could ultimately lead to the biggest defeat or biggest win of their lives." Obviously, that's something to be proud of. Let's take the best players in the world (presumably) and eliminate the decision-making ability that separates them from some jackass playing a Party Poker Turbo SNG.

They are going to put RFID chips into the cards, so we can know what the mysterious burn card is, (How have we played poker all these years without knowing that all-important bit of information? God bless you, FOX Executives!) And just because FOX isn't fucking with poker enough, they'll also add rabbit hunting on every fucking hand.

A FOX Sports executive says, "From a network perspective, this will be the largest poker deal ever brokered in television history. This will feel every bit as big as our Fox NFL telecasts."
Perfect. Get ready to don your foam dome and wear nothing but a diaper and some paint, because you may pay for the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!

It's Pokerdome, brought to you by your friends at FOX, who never saw a great thing they couldn't try real hard to fuck up.

(Hat tip to the blogfather.)