Giddiness: my first meatspace money finish

I brought $50 to Happy Days tonight. I left with $140. I'm giddy. Here's the story.

The first $25 goes into the poker tournament buy-in. I get two $10 match play tickets, and I've got one from last night in my pocket.

The first match play, I lose $10. The second, I lose another $10. I toss my last $5 into the circle, and hit blackjack, so I've got $2.50. I pull out my other match play, put $10 and win $20 back.

Except the dealer then realizes it's from last night, and won't count it. I call the pit boss, and he agrees. The rule is that it has to be played the same day, and last night's midnight tournament is not the same day as today, which ends at 7:00 a.m. I only win $10, not $20. Strangely, they do let me head back to the poker room and exchange it for today's coupon, which I then play, and lose $10. I tip the dealer $1.50 and hang out, waiting for the poker game to start. I've got $11 in chips in my pocket.

In the tournament, I play good tight poker, probably a bit too passive. Small pocket pairs, I fold to any raise. Suited connectors, I got twice tonight, and didn't play them in the face of a raise. When the blinds go up to $1000/$2000, I color up my remaining $2700 in chips to $3000, and I'm on the big blind.

No point looking at the cards here. A guy in middle position goes all in for his $3000. The small blind calls. I toss in my last chip. We turn over our cards. Middle position has 33. Small blind has TT. I've got (crap)... Q4o.

The board comes Q47xx. I'm up to $9000. The very next hand, in the small blind, I'm dealt TT. A guy in middle position goes all in, it's folded around to me, and I call. He's got AQs, which doesn't pair. With the big blind I just took, I'm up to $20K in two hands.

Over the next few minutes, I steal one set of blinds, and am up to $23K when the good news hits -- we've made the final table. Five minute break.

The other folks at the table offer a deal -- $20 each for places 6-10 and 10% for the dealers, taken proportionally out of the 1-5 spots. My stack is just a hair under average, and although I think I can outplay some of the people at the table (including Elaine, the person I referred to as a pension widow a few weeks ago), I'm not confident enough that I'll get to the top 5, and I'm a slave to peer pressure, so I agree.

I'm feeling good, so I head over to the blackjack table and toss my last $11 into the circle, and get dealt what is probably the worst hand possible given the conditions: 8-8, with the dealer showing an 8.

You would always want to split in this position. The dealer 8 is a strong card, the 16 I'm holding is very vulnerable. Splitting is a defensive measure; you expect to win one and lose one. Unfortunately, I've got no more money on me, so I've got to treat it as a regular 16, and do what I'm regretting: hit. I get a 4, for 20, and stand. Dealer flips a T for 18. I walk away with $24.

The poker game starts up again, and I'm still playing tight. I start on the big blind of $2000/$4000, and fold under pressure. Almost every hand is an all-in adventure, and within 5 minutes, I'm in third place with $13K, again on the big blind, when the blinds go up to $5K/$10K. I color up to $15K, and go all in blind. The small blind's AK hits a K on the flop, dooming my 93. I win $118 for placing third out of 37. First and second place chop about $250 each. vnh, gg.

This is the first time I've placed in the money in a casino's brick and mortar tournament. I was close once, out in 7th when no deal was made, but that's it. W00t!

When the cat's away, the mice will play poker

The wife and kid are out at the canal for a long labor day weekend, but I've got stuff to do on Saturday at 12:15 AM (work), 5:30 AM (airport pick up) and 1:00 PM (work again), so I won't be out there for a few days. So while the cat's away... I've been in two tournaments in the last two days, and have done better each time. I've identified two major hole in my tournament play:

1) I tend to go to the races pre-flop instead of playing tight and letting a hand go. While racing is often the right thing to do in a cash game, when the pot odds are right, it's rarely the best move in tournament play.

2) Post flop, I've been known to overvalue top pair/top kicker (TPTK, as the kids say on the street these days)

So yesterday afternoon, at my department's picnic, we're doing a charity hold 'em tournament for hurricane relief. We start with about 16 players, and blinds go up every five minutes (!). I'm playing tight, tight, tight, winning a grand total of one pot with pocket queens when the flop is all rags.

With six players left, I've got a stack of about 3x the big blind and there a huge stack sitting to my right. I'm under the gun with TT. I call, three players fold, and Nathan, on the small blind, pushes his stack all in. He's got just a little more than I do. The big stack thinks about it, hesitates, then tosses a few big chips in the stack to call him. I call him as well. Nathan's got me dead to rights with pocket aces. The big stack shows 8♣ 4♣. Naturally, no tens or aces hit, but the big stack gets an 8 on the flop and a 4 on the turn. Sigh.

So last night, I play the Happy Days midnight tournament (losing both BJ match plays, by the way), and I'm playing tight. With about 20 players left, I'm dealt 33 at UTG+1, and I fold them without even thinking about it (they'd have hit a set on the river; I wouldn't have stayed in that long). More tight play, and we're down to 14 players, blinds at $1000/$2000, and I'm dealt AQo in the big blind. I've got $5500 in chips left.

There's two callers, including the small blind, and the flop comes Q9Q. I check, intending to check-raise if anyone bets small. The next player checks, and the small blind comes in for $2000. I push my $3500 all in. The other player folds, and the small blind calls, showing KTo, for an inside straight draw. The turn's a harmless 4, but the jack falls on the river, and I go home, somewhere around 12th out of 42 players.

I only got involved in a handful of hands, and had the discipline to fold when I missed the flop. Limping with A9s on the button? Fold when the flop misses. QJo? Not even playable. I'm very happy with my play last night. I think I'll try again tonight and see if I can get into the cheese.

Finishing in the money about half of the time

Horse again. I don't know if it's because the other players are bad (I suspect so) or because I've been playing well (I doubt it), but I've placed in the money three of the seven horse tournaments I've played.

Finish	Net
6th	-$1.75
1st	+$7.65
6th	-$1.75
2nd	+$5.55
4th	+$0.65
13th	-$1.75
11th	-$1.75
Total	+$6.85

Two bad beat stories:

When I went out 4th, I did so in a razz game. I was dealt 54(A), and raised all in (I was short stacked). The result an irritatingly amazing: 54(A422)5, for a hand of A4522. Bah.

When I went out 11th, it was in a limit hold 'em game, and as most good bad beat stories start, "I was in the big blind, and..." with blinds of $100/$200. I was dealt 7♥ 9♥. It folded around to the button, whose stack was twice the size of mine ($2965 to my $1441). He raised to 200, the small blind folded, and I called. I think he's just trying to buy it.

8♥ 4♠ T♠. I've got an open end straight draw.

I bet, button raises, I call.

The turn is J♠. I've hit my straight, although there's now a flush possible. I bet, he raises, I reraise, he caps it, I call.

The river is 6♠, and I've got $241 left. I bet, he raises me all in, I call. I still don't think he's really got a spade.

He turns over A♠ 8♠. He was ahead the whole time. Stick a fork in me.

Tilt - game over - tilt

After (stupidly) playing past the WR at Europa two weeks ago, and a run of bad luck at Happy Days early yesterday morning, I tilted off $50 at Bet Casino last night. After receiving a $50 bonus with $3500 WR, and playing several $1 hands (five at a time) and being +$18 instead of +$50, I tilted and started playing a D'Alembert system. Have I mentioned that D'Alembert is a losing system? Yeah, I guess I have. I was down to $49.50 (-$0.50), and decided "to heck with it," dropped $25 on one hand, and lost. Then another $24, and lost.

Bonuses are scarce, I'm on blackjack tilt, I'm lacking the patience to play through the WR at minimum bets... time to cash out. I'll leave a little cash in my Neteller account for poker buy-ins, but I'm done with bonus hunting for the foreseeable future.

Bet Casino 100% $50 bonus: -$50
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,330

For my own accounting (as reference for my 2006 taxes and remembering where the money went)...Neteller withdrawals:

$ 100 June 9 (Tracy's bachelor party)
$ 100 June 21 (paying bills while waiting for insurance settlement)
$ 100 PokerStars July 4
$ 100 July 19 (Nutcracker tickets)
$ 160 August 25 (Kim's camera)
$ 195 pending from Casino On Net; will w/d when it shows up
$3000 today (cashing out)
$ 531 remaining in account for poker buy-ins
$  44 not accounted for (bad math?)
$4330 total; initial deposit of $0

Not a bad run.

Not so Happy Days: How would you play it?

I played in the $25 buy-in NLH at Happy Days again tonight. I played one hand badly, and won with Ace-high queen kicker, and played one hand well (?), and lost. How would you play this one?

It's fairly early in the tournament, and I've grown my initial $5000 stack up to about $7000. Blinds are $200/$400, and I'm on the button. I get K♠ Q♠. Under the gun, a guy who looks like Shaft raises to $1200, the loose player next to him calls, and it's folded all the way to me. I call. The blinds fold. Three players.

The flop is 4♠ T♠ K&hearts.

Shaft, who has a slightly larger stack than I do, pushes all in. The guy next to him, with a small stack of about $2000, calls.

What do you do if you're me? You've got top pair with a good kicker, and two shots at a good flush draw. Do you put your tournament life on the line here? Better yet, what hands do you put the other guys on?

If you can fold this hand, you're a better player than me. Shaft shows T♦ T♣ for a set, the worst possible hand I could be facing. The donkey next to him shows K♦ 7♠. I'm only 30% to win the pot, against Shaft's 70% (donkey boy is 0.5%).

No spades come on the turn or river; Shaft takes our stacks; IGHN.

The match play blackjack tickets didn't help, either. I lose $10 on the first two, then win with the third, then lose with the fourth. That's -$10 there, too. And playing $2 a hand BJ while I'm waiting costs me another $13. That's -$48 for the night. Bah.

Poker and blackjack and poker and blackjack and poker

Poker 1:
Here's a big hand I played at lunch yesterday. It's at a 1¢/2¢ NLH table, $5 max buy in. I've been playing for about 20 minutes, am in the big blind (isn't that how most bad beat stories start?), and a player who just bought in one hand ago is to my right in the small blind. Eight players at the table.

I'm dealt A♦ Q♣.

The player to my left, nukite, a somewhat loose player, calls the 2¢. Three callers, two folders, and it's back to the small blind, who raises to 10¢. There's 20¢ in the pot, and I'm hoping that the 10¢ is enough to scare off everyone else. I call. Nukite calls, and it folds around to the button, who surprises me by calling, too.

With 44¢ in the pot, the flop is 5♥ J♦ 9♦. Doesn't help me at all. The small blind checks.

I need to find out where I am in the hand, though, so I bet 25¢. If someone comes back over me, I'm folding. If they call, I know they're on a diamond flush draw.

Nukite and the button fold. The small blind calls. Flush draw, indeed.

The turn is T♥. He's missed his flush so far, and he checks. Time for me to make it not worth his while to go for the 17% chance of hitting his flush. I bet 50¢. Eez pozeetion bet. An over bet? Probably, but on the off chance he's got the 5♦ or T♦, I want him to think I've got the nuts, or close to it. I'm not close to dead, either -- I've got about 11 outs, by my count.

He -- amazingly -- smooth calls. A second ago I knew he was drawing. Now, I've got no idea. $1.94 in the pot.

The river is the 5♦ I feared he might have. That's not one of my outs.

If he was on his flush draw, he's hit it. If he was sitting on two pair (jacks and tens? would he raise pre-flop with this?), this has to scare him a little. He bets 28¢, a tiny bet compared to the size of the pot. He's still got $3.79 in his stack, so he's got to be trying to suck me in here. If I were him, and was trying to squeeze a few cents out of me, I'd put in a bet of about that size.

I've got nothing -- ace high -- so I know if I call him, I'm going to lose. Fold or raise? I choose to raise. How much? Well, I need to imply that I've hit the flush, and it's higher than whatever he's got. The pot, with his bet, is $2.21. I've got $4 left in my stack. On a stone cold bluff, I push it all into the pot. All in, representing that I have the flush myself.

He thinks, then mucks his cards. To try and tilt him -- don't you dare push me around on the big blind! -- I flash my cards to the table, chow down on the monster pot (minus the 10¢ rake), and end up +$2.40 on one hand.

So... what could he possibly have had to make him raise pre-flop, call big bets on the turn and river, and then fold under pressure? Maybe A♥ K♥? That wouldn't explain the small bet on the river. Pocket nines? No, then he would have bet out on the turn instead of checking and calling.

What about Q♣ T♦? I don't know that I'd raise with that pre-flop on the small blind, but that would explain the rest of the betting. That's my best guess.

Blackjack 1:
Quick one. Was down to zero after ten hands.

300%/$75 bonus at Everest Casino: -$25
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,350

Poker 2:
Got an e-mail from Empire Poker offering me $15 free to play with. I hadn't played there in over a year, so tried it out. I had $0.77 in my account there still, but played it like a play money table, and lost it all in about ten minutes. Bah.

Blackjack 2:
I'm waiting for a slow-coming bonus from Bet Casino. 100%/$50, 35x WR, non sticky. I'll start this one tonight.

Poker 3:
I've completed a very long download of the poker client for pkr.com. 3D Xbox-like online poker. I'll try it out tonight, too. I'm hoping the cool graphics are good fish bait.

This stud's got razz hands! (and is -$5)

I played a pair of $1.50 + $0.25 horse tournaments (16 players, top four pay), ending 6th in the first and 7th in the second. My worst play in months came in the first tourney when I had a monster limit razz hand, something like A2456, pushed and raised and scared all but one guy out, who just called me down. The cards are shown, I've got the best hand, and he gets the chips? WTF?

Turns out, I was so busy kibitzing with LightningDuck (who was out of the hand), I missed the change from razz to limit stud. My opponent's hand had a high pair. I went from being the big chip leader to being in the low middle of the pack.

I made the exact same mistake in the second tournament, but fortunately after I made my third street call, LightningDuck typed "this isn't razz anymore". Whew. "I know", I lied back.

Good times.

Also, I started bonus grinding at CasinoOnNet on Tuesday night. Ive been avoiding it, even though every bonus hunting site recommends it. The WR is a non-sticky 100% $200 bonus with a WR of 50 x bonus (which makes it equivalent to the 25x bonus+deposit you'd find at other sites). I deposited $200, got $200 more in bonus, and started into the $10,000 WR at $2 a hand, three hands at a time.

Even worse, their software was painfully slow. On a fast site, I can play somewhere around five rounds a minute. Here, each round took at least 30-40 seconds.

Tuesday night, I ended at the WR$1076 level, with $377 left.
Wednesday night, I ended at the WR$2000 level, with $390 left.
Last night, I lost my patience, played $5 a hand instead of $2 a hand, and at WR$3755, was down to $195. Unlike most sites, they confirmed that I could withdraw my original deposit of $195, so I did so.

Casino On Net: 100% $200 bonus: -$5
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,375

Riding high on the Horse tourney

I scored my biggest tournament win ever. Maybe I won more at some tournament in my run of winter 2004, but I'm pretty proud of this one.

It didn't start well -- I signed up for a 45-player NLHE tournament, got dealt AA on hand 1, went all in after a flop of JJ4, and got called by J5 and J8, ending in 44th place. Maybe I'll do better at Horse.

Sixteen players, $1.50 + $0.25 buy-in, top four positions pay. One hour, eight minutes later, I come in first place, winning $9.60. I was down in the lower quartile for most of the first half hour, then won a big razz hand against two others. I was never lower than 7th place the rest of the tournament.

Strategies:
Hold 'em: Play good starting hands. :-)
Omaha hi/lo: Play A2 or A3 double suited, or four high cards. Fold if you miss the flop.
Stud eight or better: Go for the low; if you back into the high, bonus!
Stud: Fold unless you've got a pair or better (55K/5/x/x/x won me a ton!)
Razz: Fold unless you've got three low cards
I simultaneously played another 45-player $1 + $0.20 NLHE tourney, and I was the bubble boy, holding TT in the big blind and throwing a third of my entire $9000 stack against a very agressive $12,000 stack pre-flop. The flop came A97, and I decided to go all-in against him with a check-raise. He put in $3000, I went all in, he called, and showed A3. The turn and river didn't help. Curse you, Phil Hellmuth.

I think a big part of what helped me go so deep in both tournaments... I wasn't paying a lot of attention, and had to think "What game is this? Is this a premium hand in this game?" every hand, and folding if I had any doubts. That kept me from playing marginal hands.

Oh, in other notes,

• I'm also about 7% through the WR at Casino On Net ($10,000 WR for a 100% $200 bonus).
• I did well at a poker night at Bill's on Saturday (+$7).
• I'm waiting for my Europa withdrawal to show up.
• The hand of the night is in the screen shot to the right. Glad I had crap and folded pre-flop.

Europa kickback

Got this in an e-mail today from Europa (where I've lost $300 the last few weeks):

I'm pleased to inform you that you've qualified for this week's $25.00 Loyalty Bonus, and it's been credited to your account!

Same restrictions as before, so Pai Gow was a logical choice. The $25 was sticky, and the WR was only 5x ($125), so I figured I'd put it all on one hand. I won, with $100 WR to go. Bet again, won again, with $75 to go. At this point I dropped down to $5 a hand, and 15 hands later, with $0 WR left, I was at $56.45. Time to stop. I tossed the 45 cents in a slot machine, and ended with $59 total. Take out the sticky $25, and I end up ahead $34, even though I'm down $261 at Europa overall.

Europa $25 loyalty bonus: +$34
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,380

Wil Wheaton: PokerStars spreading HORSE games

Cool. Let's play horse.

Play Horse at PokerStars! - Card Squad:

"PokerStars just added HORSE and HOSE to their line up of games. As of this morning, they're spreading 1/2 and up, and they're also spreading them as play money games, if you want to give them a try without risking any of your precious bankroll, or bodily fluids.

Ransacked, smoldering wasteland of bonuses

I spent a good part of Sunday and Monday mining my spreadsheet of bonuses, and concluded that there's not any great ones left. That means I need to add more obscure casinos to my list, accept lesser offers (e.g. 50% bonuses), and go back to improving my poker game, which has suffered terribly these last three months. I finished the easier half of my VBA Omaha assistant. I enter the four cards, and it tells me whether to fold, call, or raise based on the high. Figuring the programming to do the low is more challenging. I tested it out in a game of 1c/2c Omaha high only, and broke even after an hour. The last two nights, though, I've actually made it to bed early -- before midnight. I'm a geezer. (+2 geek points: I'm posting this from a Sound Transit train rolling through Tukwila. New Blackberry. Woot.)

Low variance means targets are harder to hit

I learned another lesson yesterday. Europa offered me a 100%/$200, 12x WR bonus, but Blackjack and War were both ineligible (as were the typically excluded games of Baccarat, Roulette, and Craps). I set my target at $1000, which would put me +$600. Which game to play?

Game	House Edge	Variance
Three Card Poker	2.32%	8.4681
Pai Gow	2.73%	0.5625
Red Dog	2.80%	2.56
Let it Ride	3.51%	1.64

I chose Pai Gow.

With it's dramatically low variance (it seems that about 60% of all hands are pushes), I zoomed past the $4800 WR with my $50 bets, but wasn't going anywhere fast. I hovered between $100 and $600 in the process. When I hit the WR, I was at about my starting $400, and when I dropped down to $250, which was below the table limit of $300, I pushed my whole stack in -- and lost.

In retrospect, I should have probably played Pai Gow to hit the WR, then jumped to a higher variance game (Red Dog?) to hope for a hot streak. With the low, low variance of Pai Gow, I'd have had to be betting $200 a hand to bring my target down to within 1 standard deviation.

Europa 100% $200 bonus: -$200
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,341

This state sucks, buy may have saved me money

The site: 32vegas.com

The offer: 320% bonus on a $100 deposit, 12x WR, BJ, Roulette, Baccarat, Craps, SicBo, and War don't qualify.

The chat:

Amber: o.k, you want to know the restricted games and wagering req?
Me: I've seen the restricted games list, but not a list of games available (other than generic "card games"). Is, for example, Red Dog available and eligible?
Me: or Pai Gow? Or Three card poker?
Amber: any game that you dont see there, will be good for the wager, but let me check this game one sec ;-)
Amber: it is a card game?
Me: Yes. ...
Amber: we dont have this game im afraid
...
Amber: cool, i see you, you ready to deposit?
Me: I'd like to look around the casino first.
Amber: sure, tell me when you ready, im here :-)
Me: Hey, I'm seeing a Red Dog table. That's the game you checked on earlier, and said you didn't have. Cool! Is it an eligible game to meet the requirements? [red flag! red flag!]

Amber: great :-)
Amber: sorry about that one ;-)
Amber: let me check it one sec
Amber: it is good :-)
Me: Great!
Amber: yea
Amber: so lets do it then?
Amber: or you want to check it more?
Me: Just a second...
Amber: sure, im here ;-)
Me: The web page with the T&C for the 320% bonus has disappeared -- how can I find it again? [red flag! red flag!]
Amber: i will tell you all you need?
Amber: just ask
Me: I just wanted to keep a copy for my records.
Me: Can you recap the wagering requirements, and confirm that the bonus is cashable?
Amber: when we done, you will be able to enter your email and get this chat sent to you :-)
Amber: in the spirit of fair gaming, you need to wager 12 times your deposit + bonus (18 for pounds) in order to cash out.
Amber: BONUS IS CASHABLE!
Amber: cool?
Amber: ;-)
Me: Perfect. Let's make the deposit.
Amber: cool, do you know how?
Me: Looks pretty self explanatory.
Amber: lol
Amber: make the deposit, i will issue you the bonus, if you have any Q or problem, just ask me, cool;?
Me: My neteller deposit of 100 is being declined. Any idea why?
Amber: let me check it one sec
Amber: you from Washington state?
Me: Yup.
Amber: im afraid that your state is not eligible for online gambling
Amber: you cant make any deposit :-(
Me: Doh! That's too bad. Thanks anyway.
Me: Time to write my senator,I think :-)
Amber: sorry about that
Amber: lol
Me: No problem. I understand.
Me: Have a good evening.
Amber: you do the same

It's getting tough to find good bonuses any more -- and I was ready to drop $100 in spite of the missing terms and conditions, and in spite of Casinomeister's recommendation, "This casino ought to be avoided." Probably for the best, I suppose.

Semi-bluff? All bluff.

I played a few hands of Omaha hi/lo 2¢/4¢, and ended up down 48¢. Time to go back to old reliable, regular old texas hold 'em. The stakes tonight were 5¢/10¢ no limit. I played three tables at once, and when it was time to go to bed, I prepared to shut down each table as the big blind hit. I was down 2¢ when I quit the first table, up $1.35 when I quit the second, and in middle position (UTG+3) on the third table, was down $2.50 or so.

Under the gun, idiotp0ker calls 5¢. UTG+1 folds, and I raise to 15¢ with 9♣ 9♠ in order to reduce the field -- pocket nines don't play well against more than one or two other players. Perfectly, everyone folds back to idiotp0ker, who calls.

The flop comes 5-8-K rainbow. idiotp0ker bets 25¢, a respectable amount at this table. I'm getting ready to get out of here, so to see if he really has a king, I raise to 50¢. He raises to $1.50, implying that not only does he have the king, he's got two of them -- or fives or eights. Tiltily, I call. WTF was I thinking? I honestly don't know. It's late.

The river's another 8. I could represent a full house here, if he bets weak. Pros say that you can tell what an amateur has by how they bet on the turn; the flop betting is what they want you to think they have, but the betting on the turn is what they really have. He bets $2.95, about a third of his stack.

So yeah, he's got something. I've got a pair of nines and the pair of eights on the board. Time to get out? I try to quickly do the math and figure out how much I'd have to bet to put him all in, but it's late, I'm running out of time, and I know I shouldn't even be in this hand to start with. Regardless, with a few clicks left on the clock, I push all in for another $5.92.

idiotp0ker folds, and says "lmfao". I muck my hand. "you suck," he says.

"lol" I type back. To tilt him a bit more, "Total bluff".

"you don't know anything about poker," he says. "I had nothing, worse than yours."

"Yup," I reply back. "I can't even spell qweens."

I leave the table up $1,79, up $2.64 overall for the night.

A win at Intercasino, finally

Intercasino offers a monthly 100% $100 bonus. When I started bonus hunting, back in May, I won $76, then lost $100 in June and $100 in July. Yesterday, I ended up $85 for August, although at one point I was up $207.

Intercasino August 100% $100 bonus: +$85
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,541

Now, that took a while to churn through

Cherry Casino, according to Casinomeister, is a good, honest, reputable casino with quick payouts. There's a good chance that for the first time, a casino will be paying me out faster than it took me to play through the wagering requirements.

The terms, as I mentioned earlier this week: 50% $111 20x WR non-sticky, which means a deposit of $222, a bonus of $111, and slow playthrough of $6660. At $1 a hand... it takes a while. Four lengthy evenings.

It paid off, though. From the chart above, you can see that I had a great run at the end. I withdrew $461.

Cherry Casino 50%/$111 bonus: +$239
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,456

Audio test - nothing significant to hear here

The sound of my jaw hitting the floor

Two relevant quotes tell this story:

"Prism Casino has sent $890.00 USD to you, and is currently in your Neteller Account." -- An e-mail tonight from Neteller

"Close your mouth, please, Michael, we are not a codfish." -- Mary Poppins.

And it only took four chat sessions, seven e-mails, and five weeks to make it happen.

When a loss is still a win

I lost twice today, and still came out ahead both times.

I went back to Gaming Club and churned $500 through their slot machines. The $75 balance I had in there was still usable, and in the end, although I lost $40 of it today, I still ended up ahead $35 overall. That's still a win.

The Gaming Club: +$35
Something-out-of-nothing to date: $4,217

And late tonight, I went to the local Happy Days brick-and-mortar for their midnight NLH $25 tournament. I got there at about 11:40, was placed on their alternates list, (8th place), and take the two $10 match coupons to the blackjack table. I buy in for $30, win with both match coupons, play several more hands, and leave with $65. I'm up $10 for the night. That's a win, in spite of my loss-yet-to-come.

The tournament started at midnight, and as I wait, the blinds go up twice. I finally sat down with my $5000 chip stack at about 12:45. I sat down in the $800 big blind (folded), blinds went up, and I folded my next hand at the $500 small blind.

My $3700 chip stack was already the second-smallest stack at the table, but I played tight, folding until I got A♥ Q♥, and went all in in middle position. The player to my left called me; the rest of the table folded. He showed QTo, an ace hit on the flop, and I doubled up and took the blinds, up to $8900.

The very next hand under the gun, I'm dealt QJo, and raise to $2000. It folds around to an old lady I see every time I'm here. She's agressive, but I've seen her play some marginal hands. On the button, she calls. The small blind folds, the big blind calls, and we see a flop of rags. The big blind checks, I check, and the old lady goes all in. We both get out of her way, and my stack is down to $6900.

Blinds go up again just in time for me to hit them, but we color up, so I've got $7000 for the (late edit $500/$1000 $1000/$2000) blinds. I get crap cards on the big blind and fold to a raise. I get K♥ 9♥ on the small blind, but fold to an all-in and a call of the all-in.

Three hands later, with a $4000 stack, I get Q♠ Q♣ (Kevin's favorite hand). Most players fold, but the old lady goes all in with her big stack. It's folded to me, and I go all in. She turns over K♥ 7♥, and before I can gleefully realize that she's really only got three outs, the flop comes 3♥ 8♥ 6♥; she's hit her flush. As a nail in the coffin, the turn is K♠; I don't remember the irrelevant river.

Still, I'm up $10 for the trip. Better than a sharp stick in the eye.

(Note to those who care: On August 1, Happy Days is adding a 3 a.m. tournament to their daily schedule of noon, 7 p.m., and midnight)

Bad beats: giving and taking

I played two tables at PokerStars last night, a $3 + $0.40 single table NLH sit-n-go, and a 1¢/2¢ NLH ring game.

Normally, at a low buy-in sit-n-go, you'll have several players who go all in early on. It's not a terrible strategy, if they've got decent cards, because they'll double (or triple) up early, and can then coast into the money. It's also not a strategy I like -- too much variance, not enough play.

Surprisingly, nobody did this at my table. We're 20 minutes in, and the table's still full. Nobody's more than +/- 500 from their initial 1500 chips.

Soon, though, two players drop out in consecutive hands. I've been in a few, but folded to players who represent stronger hands than I had. I'm down to about 1100 in chips, and the blinds are 150/300. I'm on the small blind with A♠ 9♥. The whole table folds around to me, so I raise to 600 to buy the big blind's 300. To my surprise, he calls. The flop is A♦ 6♣ 3♦.

Does he have an ace, too? Is his kicker better? The only way for me to find out is to bet. I think I'm ahead here -- maybe he has a smaller pair, or is playing ace-baby. I've only got 500 in chips left, so I push all-in. He quickly calls, and shows J♦ 6♠. I'm ahead, because he's only got a pair of sixes.

The turn is 9♦. I've now got two pair; only a six can beat me. Except...

The river's K♦. I get knocked out by his runner-runner flush. Doh!

I turn my attention to my ring game, which I play for about an hour, am up about $3, and I get dealt pocket aces under the gun. I raise to 8¢. This is designed to keep players with good hands in, and to scare out players with weak hands. It works -- the only player coming back at me raises to 20¢; everyone else folds. I hesitate for a few minutes to give the impression that I'm scared, then just smooth call.

The turn is 699 rainbow.

If he had a power hand like he represented, he's got neither a 6 nor a 9. In my mind, I'm clearly ahead. I can reel him in. I check. He puts $1 into the pot -- a huge bet at a 1¢/2¢ game. I call, fairly quickly.

The turn is a 5.

I check again. He's got nothing on me, right? He tosses another $1 into the pot. At this point, I think he might as well be playing with his cards face up -- he's got pocket kings or aces. I raise him to $2. At this point, he's probably thinking I've got a smaller pair, or maybe I've got A5 and think he's bluffing. He calls.

The river's a 3.

There's about $6.40 in the pot, and he's got $2.47 left in his stack. I bet $2.47, making it clear that I'm intentionally putting him all in. He calls, and as I expected, he shows pocket kings. I win, making about $5 in one hand.

This changed my table image a bit; over the next six hands, I won four of them unopposed after raising to 8¢ pre-flop or betting 10¢ after the flop. Fear me, little fishes.

(Like I should talk, playing at micro limit tables. I'm a small fish, in an even smaller pond.)